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Online Dating Should Be an Olympic Sport
The Olympic Games program consists of 26 sports, 30 disciplines and almost 300 events. It is a global event of monumental interest and cultural significance in our world. As such, I would like to formally submit Online Dating/Dating to the International Olympic Committee for consideration for inclusion as an Olympic sport for the 2012 or 2016 Games.
Do you think this is just another bigoted idea from your friends in the online dating world? Consider this:
Olympic sports are governed by International Sports Federations (IFs), which in turn are recognized by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) as the global overseers of their respective sports. In layman’s terms, this means that the big dog IOC lets the little dog IFs run everything at a local level. Well, such a little dog already exists in the online dating world in the form of reputable online dating sites. That’s right, there are some reputable dating sites that are good enough to be called established “federations”. These sites may be the global governing body for online dating! That was the first step. Now to convince the IOC that online dating is a sport.
In terms of Olympic competition, think about it, we could classify the online dating world into men and women, and then further divide it into specific weight classes or even personality types within those weight classes. These men and women would then compete with each other physically (through flirting), intellectually (through questions) and visually (physical appearance). It is the perfect mix of a sport. The winning gold medalist must spend years in the gym to be physically fit, spend years in school or the library “learning” to be smart, and behind all the muscles and misogynistic intellect still be graceful in delivery and presence. The winner of online dating would be the perfect athlete, the Opus Olympian.
Not convinced it would work? Maybe you’ll change your mind after reading this:
In October 2004, the IOC established an Olympic Program Commission tasked with reviewing all existing sports and other non-recognized Olympic sports. In this review, the aim was to apply a systematic and categorical approach to each sport and assess whether it met the criteria for inclusion in the Olympic Games as a recognized Olympic sport. This commission came up with seven criteria to judge whether a sport should be included or not.
1) The history and tradition of sports
3) The popularity of the sport
5) Athletes’ health
6) Development of the international federation that governs the sport
7) Costs associated with hosting/playing the sport
The above seven criteria, my friends, are what a sport or discipline must meet in order to be considered for inclusion in the Olympic Games. Period.
Does Online Dating Meet These 7 Criteria? Let’s find out:
1) History and tradition – Check! Dating is the oldest tradition on the planet, existing before any of today’s current Olympic sports.
2) Universality – Check! I’m pretty sure that dating and the sport of interpersonal communication and sparring has universal appeal. I mean, we do it every day!
3) Popularity of the sport – Check! I would say that dating was quite popular. Would you not? Everyone does it. Even animals. I don’t see penguins playing soccer or baseball, but I do see them dating.
4) Image – Check! Dating is about attraction and reflects a positive and beautiful self-image. Those who participate in the sport of dating exude the highest standard of image compared to any sports image or sports athlete! Who likes to date an unbathed, rude and dirty person? Puhleeze.
5) Athletes’ Health – Check! Dating athletes date, and date often. As such, they take their own personal health very seriously. STD education starts at a young age, and practicing safe sex to maintain good sexual health is part of everyday life for those who date.
6) Development for the International Federation governing the sport: Check! The International Federation for Online Dating, a reputable dating site, would greatly benefit from the inclusion of online dating in the Olympic Games.
7) Low cost of keeping the sport: Check! How much does it cost to look at the person next to you and start a conversation?
In conclusion, Online Dating meets all the criteria for inclusion as an Olympic sport, in many ways better than existing Olympic sports. Consider curling – who does it help? What about fences? Seriously people… how on earth can hitting someone with a piece of wire benefit people or project a good self image? Give me a break.
So without further adieu, I would like to formally submit online dating to the International Olympic Committee for consideration and recognition as a recognized Olympic sport in the year 2012 or 2016…or even 2020. I’m not picky.
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